We all know that person, the one that brightens up a room – by leaving it. They are inconsiderate of everyone around them, overly judgmental and a master of manipulation. They are hard to deal with, and can cause unnecessary stress in our hectic day to day lives.
While you can’t always avoid them, recognizing a toxic person will help you to prepare yourself and manage the situation accordingly.
Here are 10 traits to watch for that will help you to spot a toxic person:
§ Drama, Drama, Drama
They couldn’t be any more negative. There is always some crisis or problem in their lives, something is always going wrong. If you do try to help by offering your advice they shoot it down, informing you that it won’t work before even considering trying it.
§ They have a lot to say, but can’t be bothered to listen
Toxic people are often wildly narcissistic, focusing all their time and effort on the person they consider to the most important in the room – themselves.
§ They try to control everyone in their lives
They are determined to get what they want, and act like everyone else is nothing more than a pawn in their game. They want you to act in a specific way in order to fit into their script.
§ Their personal experiences dictate how everyone else should live
Everyone around them should judge their experiences in life based on what they have done, not done, liked or disliked. If they eat somewhere and didn’t like their meal it is a horrible restaurant that couldn’t possibly be enjoyed by anyone else.
§ They unapologetically monopolize your time
They have no concept of your schedule or life, sucking up your time without giving anything back in return. They value their own time, but not that of anyone else in their lives.
§ They disguise their lack of common courtesy as ‘honesty’
Sure, they will admit that they made that harsh comment about you last week, but it OBVIOUSLY wasn’t meant to be an attack, they were just being honest! They lack tact and common courtesy, throwing around harsh words and judgments without holding back.
§ They are queens and kings of gossip
They love to talk about other people, its like a hobby. They lift themselves up, building up their own ego and self-esteem by tearing everyone else down.
§ They are always right
It doesn’t matter if they are trying to argue that the sky is hot pink, they are never wrong! They are, after all, the source of all knowledge. They refuse to learn from anyone else and if you do go against them they are quick to lash out.
§ Their relationships are for show
They force relationships to happen in each area of their lives, not so that they can genuinely connect with these people, but simply to show other people how popular they are.
§ The lies just keep coming
The tell so many lies that you can’t always tell where the truth ends and the lies begin. They make telling lies look as easy as spelling your own name.
In response to a conversation on Reddit about toxic people, and the way to handle interacting with them, one user provided the following words of wisdom:
“The deeper your present moment peace gets, the easier it’ll be to react non-passionately when confronted with hostility. As this gets better, you can begin to realize more deeply just how much someone has to be suffering internally in order to have such harsh reactions. With enough insight, you can develop your empathy and compassion based off this knowledge and these also help you remain even more peaceful in the present moment.
Eventually, with enough compassion and insight on your side, you can begin to extinguish the fires of hostility by extinguishing anger with patience and understanding… It’s hard to continue treating someone harshly when they continue treating you well. In helping them relieve these feelings, you not only help them but you also help yourself, since you no longer have to deal with them as they were.”